Eight Year Olds and Unschooling

This is a response to a worried mom of an eight year old.

I'm coming into the discussion a wee bit late and have skimmed the majority of responses and have just a few points to add:

Jane McGonical was on TED Talks. You can view here.


The original poster states a few concerns I'd like to address:

"but I miss my cheerful son who in younger years would happily be up for all kinds of adventures."

"if we do go out, a hour or 2 later he's ready to go home."

"I hate to make an arbitrary ban/regulation of this, but it seems like it might be helpful."

We started 'homeschooling when my son was 7yo and moved into full blown radical unschooling by the time he was 8yo. He is now 14 so I've run the gambit of much of what you address in your questions and this is what I have learned.

1) You haven't really 'lost' your cheerful son. He has grown and his interests have grown with him. Ask him what sorts of adventures he'd like.

When my son was 8, I pulled up the Dwarf Fortress website and let him read it to see if he would like that sort of game. (Got the link off the homeschooling Mensa site so I had no clue how my son would take to it.) He liked what he read and is still actively involved with the game/forum/linked branches/etc ever since. To this day if you looked at what he is reading on his iPod, it's usually something linked from this original site.

Do I worry? Not at all! What I have done is stay connected and in tune with what has him so intrigued. I take the time to listen and get engaged with him and his interests. This also gives him someone close that he can talk to about all his discoveries. It has allowed him to ask crazy questions like, 'Can a carp really kill a man?' which lead to us researching everything about carps and how big they grow, the probability of 'man killing carps' and a game designers right to be as silly as they so choose to be.

Along with Dwarf Fortress, I, who was NOT a gamer in any sense of the word, learned to play Runescape, World of Warcraft, and tons of other 'addicting' games. But my learning wasn't limited to just learning games! No! By bringing my boy home from school, I was now his number one person to whom he spent the most time with. I'm the one he talked to about EVERYTHING. This meant I got to enter his world and I considered it my place to know his interests and feed them. I read all the books he read (and he reads a lot!) so he always had someone to discuss the stories and plot lines with.

When his interests expanded beyond my time constraints/desires/and or tolerance, (I got motion sickness from some of the xbox games) my spouse jumped in. The two of them watched every Star Trek, played Halo, and discussed all types of weighty subjects even doing the math to see if the directors got it right. This lead to them getting into Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawkings to name a few.

My point being is your 'happy son' is still there. You might just need to get to know him again as a slightly older child with slightly grown interests.

2) My son also grew to hating to leave the house. To the point at one point, I feared he would become a shut in. He balked at having to even accompany us to the store. Well, turns out it was just a phase. The store bored him and being a typical boy, he really hated shopping ~ unless it was like a gaming store ~ but even then, he could look online at home and skip the actual store shopping. He had grown out of play dates and playgrounds. He hated roller skating and the likes. He always carried reading material and getting his nose out of a book was near impossible.

Sure, we could intrigue him out to things he was interested in like one year for his birthday we spent the day going to the parks that had the big cats (The Big Cat Rescue & Busch Gardens)but that would be cost prohibitive to do often. My spouse took him to see the Space Shuttle launch close up a few times, but even things like this didn't happen often enough to make it a weekly adventure.

The good news is age does in fact change this. When my son turned 13, he began to take an interest in people again. Now at age 14, he is actively involved in taken martial arts classes with adults and teens alike making many friends. Turns out that he really wasn't 'anti-social'. He was simply 'anti-interested'.

3) Arbitrary rules do not work. They never worked for my parents. They've never truly worked for anyone. Sure, you can make all sorts of miserable consequences but does it truly work? You might get compliance but you won't get growth.

Teaching the 'why' behind the reason makes more sense to me. My son knows that if he stays up late on a day he needs to be up early the following day, he will be too tired and grumpy. If he goes to bed too early in the evening, he is going to wake up extra early the next day, etc, etc.... I once had some lady give me crap that if I didn't force my child to sleep 8pm to 7am the next day, he would never be able to function as an adult and I was doing a disservice to society as a whole. Considering all the crazy shifts I've had to work in my life, I can tell you that her concept is totally off! The whole world is not asleep between 8p and 7a. Nor should it be.

So as far as 'arbitrary rules' go, what has worked better for us, is talking about the cause and effect of choices and learning to make wise choices. Yes, kids as young as eight can handle these sorts of discussions.

Well that's my $.25 for what it's worth.

May your New Year be blessed with laughter and joy!

Vicki

Biology and Math

Question asked: For the original Life of Fred books you have to be able to do long division. I assume they need to be done sequentially but I am not really sure.

I bought the complete original series of LoF when my son was 10. He asked if he could just read them as novels instead of working the math as he went. I told him of course! He read and giggled his way all the way through the complete series. Later, when he and his dad were busy discussing quantum physics and black holes, my son decided he really needed to get a better handle on the higher maths. He jumped right into the calculus book and after a bit of struggle, he decided that it would make sense to go through the math in a more step by step procedure actually working the problems as he went. (We had already talked about this, but coming to his own realization was beautiful!)

He is now 13 and every so often he picks up the books and works his way through them. He now has a strong grasp on Algebra and Geometry. As for Biology, he has had an intense interest in that since around age 8. Back then he wanted to learn everything he could about cats. I looked for every book I could find, every video, and I totally disregarded 'age level'. Soon he was reading college level biology books just because he was interested. We let him breed his cats and raise all the kittens. He's pretty much an expert on cats and all their biology now. (Our vet was impressed.) Also, in letting him learn all he could about cats, he now has a solid foundation on the biology of mammals which has lead to many more studies including humans.

For my son, the most beautiful part of unschooling, is the freedom for him to be able to explore a subject as deeply as he likes. I just pay attention to his interests and do everything I can to feed those interests. Needless to say, his bookshelves are loaded with books on biology, physics, religions of all forms, mythology, math, tons of various reference books, tons of D&D books, comics, tons of fiction and classical literature, to name a few. He has access to the local library should he want it. He has unlimited access to the web. He has unlimited access to video games. He has unlimited access to a menagerie of pets and a life outdoors.

Today finds him in a kayak with his dad and a family friend who till just recently worked at NASA while they wait to watch the final launch of the space shuttle. Yesterday had him working on a SeaDoo learning to rebuild a carburetor.


Who knows what he will learn tomorrow? I'm sure it will be something interesting.

Lamaze for cats?

Originally posted May 30, 2007 on my original blog:

I'm currently holding a phone to my ear as I type this to share what's happening at home while I'm at work. My son is delivering his first baby!! Baby kitten that is. (My son is only nine.) Our cat, Tonga, is having her first babies and my son has been anxiously attending her for weeks now waiting for this blessed event.

The sounds of my spouse and son as they time Tonga's contractions, and describe what's happening is priceless!

The first baby is born! They say it appears all black and wiggling! Momma is licking her first born and all appears well. I'll post this now and update it later with pictures when I get home



Comforting the soon-to-be momma.



Tonga loves her new babies!



Helping the babies find norishment.



Five Little Kittens!!

 

 



And a peep?

Just kidding.

This is one of the peeps the kids found in the barn the other day.

I'll get sweeter pictures of the kitties when they get a little bigger.

 

 

Carnival of Homeschooling: 42 edition

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The Carnival of Homeschooling: 42 edition is now up at Home Spun Juggling!

This recent issue of the Carnival takes a look at the number 42 and all the interesting ways this number has come into play from being the Ultimate Answer to the Secret of the Universe (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)to frowning using about 42 muscles. The Carnival also contains more of Cristina's wonderful and original comics, always worth a visit.

Take a moment and go visit the Carnival. It's sure to warm your heart.

The Carnival is in Town!!

Ever desire to learn how to juggle? Christina over at Home Spun Juggling is hosting a wonderful Homeschooling Carnival! She walks you through the beginning steps of juggling as she also gives you lots of great links for your progress through homeschooling. Stop by her blog for some fun!

The 153rd Carnival of Homeschooling

The 153rd Carnival of Homeschooling is up! Please go visit Sylvia at Po Moyemu--In My Opinion for some excellent reading. Don't forget to leave a note so the authors know you were there.

Have a great December everyone!

Vicki