Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

most things I read assume that the unschooled teen who desires college is academically able to handle it. I am not.
I love my life, but Im not a musical prodigy, I don't really have a passionate hobby, My math is at about a middle school level if that,I don't like ot read and I can't write well. my only option seems ot be community college with years of remdial classes to "catch up"
sometimes I feel like I was shortchanged.i don't always feel like that, but sometimes I do.

Anonymous raises much thought on what I've been thinking lately. See I have a younger sister. Nine years younger. I was the "baby" up until her arrival. She is now approaching the end of her thirties and I am approaching the end of my forties. It's interesting to look back and see how we each view the same event. As my spouse would tell you, it doesn't appear we were raised by the same family. So here below, I shall try to elaborate without 'upsetting' any parents whether they be mine or yours.

Anonymous's point one: most things I read assume that the unschooled teen who desires college is academically able to handle it. I am not.

OK. So why are you not? I ask this on many levels, when did you decide college was an option you might desire? When did you learn you weren't ready? How old are you currently to make this hard to achieve?

I'm gonna try try hard here, not to throw stones at ANY parents. I try and talk to my kids BEFORE large decisions need to be made. I also spend, or have spent, a great deal of time researching just where they will be required to be and the many ways to get there. It DOES NOT mean that they always hear me.

Anonymous, I can't know what happened in your world, nor where the 'failings' were should your not being 'college' ready comes from. But I will tell you that should you decide that you want to be ready, there are many ways to get ready, besides just going deep in dept to pay the college to bring you up to speed. I will add, that my baby sister, did in fact, use that method, taking six years of junior college to earn her two year degree, after opting (all on her own) to never learn a thing in school. There's far more back story here that may or may not make it into this rant.

Anonymous's point two: I love my life, but Im not a musical prodigy, I don't really have a passionate hobby, My math is at about a middle school level if that,I don't like ot read and I can't write well. my only option seems ot be community college with years of remdial classes to "catch up"

I'm so happy to hear you love your life. Do you even know how few people can say that? I love mine, too, but not all the time. (Extended family ~ Oy Vay!!) I always seem to want to improve it but fail in the motivation to do so. But I'm blessed with a man I love and a wonderful home which we all love. That's not to say there hasn't been times my oldest has been ashamed of us, nor times I wished we had a showier place to invite friends to, but all and all, we have a nice home, a roof over our heads, and an abundance of love under that roof that radiates out through our fields to all our many pets. Do I know for sure that some day my kids will want to care for me? No, but one can hope and pray and do their best to be a lovable parent the kids will want to care for out of love, not obligation.

Math. Most people in the world do not understand math past a middle school level. Middle school is where they tend to introduce algebra and geometry which starts to tickle the ends of abstract thought. If I was making a skirt, for a group of dancers, and each girl had a different size, then algebra would apply in the pattern making. You probably have a better understanding then you think, but need the tried and true formulas taught to you, or a damn good reference library. I've found excellent algebra links online and excellent geometry links, too. If you want to learn it, you are blessed with interest and a current ability to find it on the web. This wasn't an option when my sister and I were younger. Check out my links above and I bet a few might be able to bring you up to speed without wasting your money on college tuition.

As for reading and writing, HAVE YOU EVER READ A POLICE REPORT?!?!?! Those boys, CAN'T write! They actually have a Report Writing 101 course just to bring them up to speed yet they get the right to carry a firearm! Proof one skill has little to do with another. Sure, sure, there are a few excellent writers in law enforcement. (I had a hard time NOT acknowledging the ones that actually turned a proper paragraph ... I digress.) Anonymous, your skills aren't all that lacking as you convade a point. Maybe you could have applied spell check.. but that's all I can criticize. (Note, my spell checking isn't finding the word I want for convade.)

Anonymous's point three "sometimes I feel like I was shortchanged.i don't always feel like that, but sometimes I do"

I SO UNDERSTAND THIS FEELING!!!!!

OMG! You don't even wanna get this old lady started on feeling short changed!!! I was the fourth child, (the annoying, whiny baby, being the fifth, yes, yes, that's YOU, Sandy!!! AND NO!!! I DON'T care for how you are raising your first born!!!)
Yes, I wrote it here, but it will require her to READ to see it.

Dear Anonymous,

My spouse points out ALL THE TIME how I am SO different then my family. We all get to make choices in our life. Some of us get to start younger. And some of us get to start later. My parents never chose to enter my world. They sent me to school and left me to do my thing. I can remember being angry when my perfect 'A' report card was blown off 'Because they never expected different from me" yet my failing older brother got their attention "because he was a failure". ~_~

No, my parents weren't perfect parents. In fact, they influenced both my baby sister's way to raise her son and mine on how I raised mine. In my personal opinion, my way was the better way. She tries to be strict. I'm a total radical unschooler so as far from strict as can be! I, not knowing your parents, can't speak for or against their way.

My parents never got involved with our schooling. Period. Sink or fail or succeed by your own accord. I DO remember my dad helping my older sister on a science project for the science fair once. She fared well. I don't recall him ever helping any of the other four kids.

Yea, I can relate to feeling short changed. I got near fifty years of being short changed by my parents. Thank GOD! I have an incredible spouse to help me through, and if you hang in there, and choose wisely, you can have that, too. So they sold ya short. What's new? Parents all over are doing this. Adjust your own self worth and go from there.

You have the right to demand more from yourself and others. And NO I don't mean stand in line and hold out your hand...

If you want to understand math, then learn math! The Life of Fred breaks it down in such a great way. Real math, for the real world. If you want to write better, then do so! Never has there been an easier age to master the language in! Any language!

So exactly what DO you want from this here called life?

Happiness?

You are already ahead as you state you are happy.

I worry about these things often. My son, who has already excelled, has reached a point to where I ponder, if he doesn't drill these things, will he retain them?

I'm trying an odd approach. It's called talking to him.

He gets to hear my concern then apply that knowledge into either pursuing higher math or accepting responsibility for not knowing higher math when he is eighteen. ~.~
I can't live his life for him. He goes deep on the variable options to my character I'll play in his game, but it's hard for him to accept "too many options boggle my head". We each come into this world as we are. Life experience lends itself to who we become.

I highly suggest, before you have your own child, if it's not too late to say so, is spend some time thinking hard about just what you remember and what you would do different. So many times, this becomes about money. And money is a definitive factor! The first real unschoolers I ever met face to face, lived bi-country and traveled where they choose for whichever season! Their kids could surf! In the middle of winter!! They were fluent in German and English. They traveled the world! There's no way I could give to my kids what these kids experienced.

I ran into this family while waiting for the release of Cataclysm. He told me that he gave up private tutors for his kids and moved into unschooling when he realized that he had no clue on what they will need to know in the future. His kids no longer fight, and are happy.

Sounds like to me, you are already further along on the road to a happy life then many high school grads. Good luck and write me any time. I haven't even skimmed the top of my thoughts on this topic. =)