Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Anger and Life Choices

I'm going to take a moment and talk about something a wee bit different then my usual topic. Anger. I recently asked a close friend how they saw me and they said they love everything about me except that I still carry a bit of 'anger'. They quickly added that I've been through more then my share of things to be angry about, but anger doesn't have any redeeming qualities and even though it's hard to release, it's worth it. I pointed out that I was aware of this and that's why I remove myself from having contact with those things (people) who cause these hard feelings. My close friend pointed out that , yes, they knew this, but it doesn't heal the wound and it still leaves a raw sensitive place on my underbelly.

I've spent the last few hours thinking about this and thinking about what the Lord has to say about this. It's a lot to think about.

There was a time, many years ago, that I was angry over my brother being a bully to his siblings. We've all grown up, but those beatings from him, didn't create a desire to have him as a close life long friend. We're not. I'm no longer angry.

There was a time that I HATED the person who killed my sister. They never learned who murdered her so I never had a face to hate. I left this 'anger' in the Lord's hands years ago, realizing that no fate on Earth would ever equal God's wrath. I'm no longer angry.

I was angry at the drunk driver who almost killed me when they caused an accident. Oh boy do I remember being ANGRY! But I was seriously injured and bleeding out, so I was never able to show them just how angry I was! That was years ago and the Lord saw fit that I stayed here on Earth. Guess he wasn't done with me at that time. I'm no longer angry.

Oh, the list is long but the theme remains the same. I'm human and anger is a real emotion. One I've felt intensely from time to time. I've been aiming for a peaceful life for a long time. I live quietly, I drive cautiously, and I always try and be pleasant. You can't bubble wrap life though. So I always return to where I started and that's knowing that the Lord is always there for me. And you, too!

Hear, O Lord, my righteous plea;
listen to my cry.
Give ear to my prayer -
It does not rise from deceitful lips.
May my vindication come from you;
may your eyes see what is right.
Psalms 17 1-2

I am no longer angry.

1 comment:

jugglingpaynes said...

I think you have a very healthy attitude. Negative emotions like anger and sadness are valid feelings, and yet people tend to tell us not to feel them. I think there would be a lot less problems like road rage if we learned to express these feelings in a safe way. Be angry, talk it out, let it go. My problem is I am usually too shy to do step two, so I end up having that anger stuck in me causing problems. :o)

You are doing OK, Vicki! I find it amusing that we are both estranged from a brother. Mine was mainly emotionally abusive. And I'm not angry with him, just sad. He and his wife distanced themselves from us.

Peace and Laughter,