Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Jokes by Homeschoolers

These jokes are from Cyndi Kinney, R.N., Ph. D., Knowledge Box Central Newsletter!
You can sign up to receive the newsletter on the links at the bottom.

Only In America

1. Only in America ......can a pizza get to your house faster than an

2. Only in America ......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America ......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)

9. Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braillen lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is "new and improved tasting," who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

There are still more.....but I'll save them for another day....one can only take so much laughter all at once!

Cyndi Kinney, R.N., Ph. D.




jugglingpaynes said...

Well now you've done it. How will I sleep with all these questions in my head?
Although, drive-up ATMs with braille does explain a lot.

Peace and Laughter,

The People History said...

i love those and could think of a few more will have to visit the site


The People History said...

would love it if you passed the site around as you can tell labour of love , I have always loved history and wanted to try and keep it factual but still great fun

thanks for popping by my wifes horse blog as well, my daughter and I worked it out that in the scheme of things we fight for last place in this household behind horses, dogs, cats then zoe and I in joint last place heheheh only joking