Judas Asparagus

If you need a laugh today, then this should do it! I can't QUIT giggling!

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Received via email ~~~ Unknown author ~~~ ^_^ ~~~ Hope you enjoyed!

Behind my House

a young couple went fishing...and this is what happened from them parking their car on the side of the dirt road (according to the news)













And the next day.......things where still burning....here's a few interesting yet things you wouldn't normally think about, fire doing.





I don't currently know how many acres were burned and it appears that today the fire moved away from my home. This is just one of a few that are burning. I know that over 1000 acres had burned as of this morning on another fire close to us.

And one last picture to lighten the load and prove the point that nature will overcome...

A History Quiz prepared by Lynda

Can you identify who said the following? Scroll down for the answer.

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest [the U.S.] become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."

Lynda

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley

Answer:
--Cicero, 55 BC and the brackets should actually read "Rome."

Thank you Lynda, for an enlightening History lessons! Too bad the American people, many of which are graduates of the public education system, and our so called called intelligent leaders, many of whom are graduates of the private school sector, are clearly not paying attention to what they should have learned from history!

Perpetual Motion and Entropy

As many of you who read here know, both my spouse and I are full-time working parents whom have chosen to unschool our youngest child. In stepping off the mainstream path most people follow, we have had to learn some new concepts and ideals about just what constitutes a real education and just what constitutes real value in ones life. These conversations have lead to much reflection on both of our childhoods, time spent with friends, time spent with parents, and just how did these life events effect our overall growth and life choices.

My spouse had an incredibly happy and carefree childhood. His father was an incredible man, deep thinker, inventor, who traveled through his life in a very unique way. His mother was a woman far ahead of the ladies of her generation, working in a man's world, piloting planes when very few women even stepped near a cockpit. These two people raised a very interesting man that I'm proud to call my husband.

So....now let me share with you why this praise is being shared today.

In choosing to unschool, as working parents, we needed to find a way to keep each other informed (or more so, he needs to keep me as recordkeeper, informed) of just what type of topics are discussed, learned, and or played with. Recently, we have started using emails as they make for easy filing and future reference. So here is the recent email I just received on just what these two deep thinkers have been discussing:

From my spouse:

George and I are studying Perpetual Motion Machines today. This covers basic physics, research techniques and critical thinking. As usual George has impressed me with his understanding of the world around him, which is well beyond his years.

George's entry:

Perpetual motion machines are machines that last infinitely without any outside energy. One example is where there is a water wheel that powers a generator that powers a pump which pumps the water back up to the water wheel.

This is impossible because of friction. The friction between the water wheel and the generator converts some of the energy into heat this heat is not harnessed so the machine always loses some energy and will eventually grind to a stop.

In raising children, it is truly a blessing when two parents can find some balance and work together to enrich their children's lives. I've been incredibly fortunate to have such a spouse.